Mid-July Reflections on a Monday

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This year has been about looking forward and making moves and steps and building on from this foundation of healing and starting over. It’s been a slow road, so the occasional reminders of how far I’ve come are vital.

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In yet another round of “my body reminds me” that at this time back in 2012 put on a full coffee gig show, I packed my little Toyota Corolla full, said my goodbyes and lept into the great adventure that I thought Chicago would be.

I drove across the country, enjoying the journey, only to arrive with a sense of unease. Welcomed into the proximity of a master manipulator, following his advice, getting the lay of the land.

It didn’t take long for him to completely ruin my life and turn it upside down, but I wouldn’t realize something was really wrong for another year and a half.

And another 2 years until I had unraveled enough of his hold on me to begin to ask the necessary questions and decide to walk away.

This leaving took tremendous courage and support. But it also meant I had to trust myself and lean into my own intuition.

Finally being free and the process of recovering from spiritual trauma and gaslighting and untangling from toxic theologies that harm women has been a vitally important journey but it has not been easy.

2016 was the year I finally left the abuse and drove off in a truck and moved in and became my nephew’s nanny, and I’m so grateful for all the time we’ve enjoyed together.

I boldly declared this the year of thriving and indeed I have felt the golden glow of the sunflower metaphor. I’m happy and content. I’m still making moves and leaping into the unknown and exploring new avenues and pursuing grad school. I’m growing and honing my skills as a teacher and mentor.

I’m excited to see where the second half of this year holds and will continue to dream big and count my blessings.

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