The Soundtrack of Deconstruction and Spacious Faith: Gungor’s Last Concert at the El Rey Theatre: The End of The World Tour and The End of Bad Religion

The Soundtrack of Deconstruction and Spacious Faith: Reflections on Gungor’s Last Concert at the El Rey Theatre: The End of The World Tour and The End of Bad Religion and the past Ten Years

A walk down memory lane, a timeline.

How do you put words to something that has been the soundtrack of ten years of your life? Not only the soundtrack, but I am grateful to have seen them many times over the past ten years and the way they have been woven into my own story. I dug out these photos from shows I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy.

gungor beautiful things
Gungor releases Beautiful Things February 16, 2010

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May 7, 2010  – Costa Mesa, CA
Beautiful Things at Rock Harbor for a Worship Central Conference. The first time I heard them in their full splendor with a full band. I was completely blown away by their musicality, skill, musicianship, and beautiful melodies & harmonies.

I was inspired as a musician and as a songwriter. I had several charismatic type experiences during these two days, altar calls, tears and snot and prayer, and beginning to embrace songwriting as a spiritual calling. I’m not really sure what to think about that experience in hindsight…it was positive at the time. Though my memories are unfortunately marred by my abuser’s presence that weekend.

gungor march 2 2011 catalyst

March 3, 2011 – Irvine, CA
One year later, Michael, Lisa, and a cellist played at Catalyst West and I heard Michael chat on a panel on Creativity with Amena Brown & Jo Saxton. I still remember he shared that he went into music because it was something he couldn’t not do. That really resonated, and I felt similarly while connecting with his musings as a fellow music student.

ghosts upon the earth gungor
Ghosts Upon the Earth – Album released September 20, 2011

gungor march 10 2012

 

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March 10 2012, The Observatory, Santa Ana, CA
Ghosts Upon the Earth Tour – Amena Brown and The Brilliance opened the show.  A black umbrella and a chandelier draped over the stage as Lisa opened with the song “Let there be Light.” As the music built the lights came bursting aglow.

Behind the scenes, I was weeks from deciding and in the middle of begging God for confirmation about moving to Chicago.  I spent the weekend prior in San Diego at a hotel, on my own for a mini prayer retreat / and a bit of a vacation and I ended up feeling like I was saying goodbye to San Diego. One month later I committed to making the move.

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Creation Liturgy Live Album with Recordings from the Ghosts Upon the Earth Tour
Released October 9, 2012

i am mountain gungor
I am Mountain –  Album Release – September 24, 2013

gungor march 19 2014 with steph

wrigley

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I am Mountain Tour – The Metro, Chicago IL (Just a few steps away from Wrigley Field)

At this time I was living in Chicago, in the middle of losing my job, which was confirmed with about a week, and right before I began going to yoga every week (yoga saved my life). My friend from L.A. was visiting and joined me for the show. In a lovely full circle turn of events, I saw her again last night, right before going to the final show in Los Angeles at the El Rey.

one wild life


One Wild Life:
Trilogy Released in 3 parts, respectively: August 7, 2015, March 25, 2016, & September 30, 2016

This also became the soundtrack to my yoga practice as well as my departure from Bad Religion.

 

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lastdaysinthedesert-specialnight

Almost entirely due to the recommendation of Gungor, I attended a Premier showing just north of downtown Chicago of the film Last Days in the Desert with Ewan McGregor, and it was a fascinating film. I really enjoyed it. Gungor opened with some music and conversation, just as they advertised and set it up really well.

Unfortunately, on my way home I received a troubling phone call to learn that one of the pastors was asking some questions, and so instead of getting to reflect on the movie I had just seen, I spent a couple hours before bed finishing up a 6-page document that I had already begun drafting, naming symptoms of Spiritual Abuse and how they were affecting me and calling out Spiritual Abuse and Bad Religion, and lastly, naming my abuser. Feeling a sense of urgency as a result of that phone call, I sent the email.  I blew the whistle. I wanted it to be clear what was and wasn’t going on. And within hours of my departure from the city, I received the most awful, abusive, manipulative email in response, I stood there shaking as I read the email on my phone. Let Bad Religion Die. Indeed.


Back in 2017, on August 22nd, I played the song Brother Moon on repeat for my nephew who snuck out for juice past bedtime, and he picked up on this gorgeous ethereal line as I sang along. (super short video).  Would you listen to that adorable baby musician? So sweet.


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June 26, 2018
Last year, Lisa released her book, The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen. I was able to get a copy from NetGalley and this was my review:

I’ve just finished Lisa Gungor’s memoir, The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Ever Seen. It is beautiful, lyrical, and cinematic. I highly recommend it, especially to Gungor fans and to those who have difficult family tensions, and those with whom we don’t always see eye to eye. It’s poetic and eloquent, evocative, insightful, and a true work of art. Super judgy, analytical readers may not find it appealing. It is a stunningly, achingly beautiful memoir. I especially loved the way all the threads were woven together: giving color and nuance and context and expression and experience.

I loved reading how as she told her own story, of her childhood, as well as their love story, and their journey making music adding more color and nuance as well as gravity and ache to the small pieces that had been shared with fans and readers of their blog, and on social media. It really was very lyrical and cinematic the way she told the story, and I loved it so.

gungor archives album

Archives – Album Release – March 1, 2019
I’m so grateful that the Gungors decided to release this archive full of music. There are so many songs on here that I am loving so much.

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The End of the World Tour – May 6th, 2019 – Los Angeles, CA
And so we come to the end. The End of the World Tour. Gungor, the musical collective’s last tour, and very last show at the El Rey in Los Angeles, CA.

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  • IMG_1648I was joined by a group of friends who met online as a result of loving Gungor and/or the Liturgists Podcast which was started by Michael Gungor and Science Mike. How in the world does that even happen?! A group of us created a subgroup as an offshoot from the main group and started a new group to discuss our lives as single people, navigating the (already) confusing dating world in our various stages of deconstruction and reconstruction. We have regional meetups, and love getting together and bonding over this One Wild Life.IMG_1559.JPGIMG_1598.JPGI honor and thank Lisa & Michael Gungor for all their blood, sweat, and tears and the pure and honest artistry and musicianship that they have poured into the Gungor Collective. For sharing their lives and their journey with us. It has been ONE WILD LIFE. For sharing their family, their stories, their hearts, their spirits, and for their music. I grieve the ending of something that has been so profoundly meaningful, been the soundtrack to much of my own journey for these past 10 years. Thank you. And looking so much forward to what comes next. Thank you both. I could not have asked for a more perfect show, the setlist so lovingly curated and joyously. This yoga teacher is so grateful for the breath meditation moment that Michael led.

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    Some favorites from last night’s show:
    Woman (Fierce & Feminine) by Lisa
    I am Mountain
    Please Be My Strength
    This is Not The End
    Oh, What a Beautiful World
    We’ll All Be Free

    Hearing William Matthews, Israel Houghton, Propaganda, and The Brilliance, the Younger Gungors, and everyone else who joined them on the stage that night was such a delight. Two cellos, two drummers, simply amazing. Truly, a musical feast, full of heart and soul, and full of the honesty of humanity.


*For more on my story, if you felt like I left you hanging…it is a long story, I didn’t want to make this longer; if you would like to know more, follow the bread crumb trails here on my blog, here are a few places to start:

  1. An Odyssey Moment
  2. Loved Back to Life: Redemption
  3. One Year Ago | A Uhaul & Unforced Rhythms
  4. Taking My Voice Back | One Year Later
  5. Surprise, it’s a Podcast!
  6. Integrated Soul Podcast Ep. 2 & 3 Shownotes
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Raise Your Voice

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The words you are currently reading are about this important book, Raise Your Voice by Kathy Khang. This introduction is also about the background of my personal/ emotional/ connection and how it is all interwoven with taking back and raising my own voice. (while clumsily learning how to spend my own privilege)

Three years ago on an early Saturday morning at the beginning of May, I think it was May 9th, 2015, I walked into an unfamiliar venue alone after taking an Uber to get there when I was living in Chicago. I knew only one or two faces, and a couple names of the speakers. I had been at my new job and practicing yoga for one year, I was able to attend the event because of a generous scholarship. (These details aren’t in themselves the main point, but they were key milestones, and important to the overarching story and my freedom. I guess you never forget every little breadcrumb trail that contributes to your freedom.)

I remember hearing Kathy Khang speak that morning and eagerly following her work online afterward. I took notes, though I admit I don’t remember much, but that she was engaging, and I think the impression I recall is that she was funny and deeply thought-provoking. Recently, I enthusiastically reached out to Kathy, cheering her on as she received her yoga certification and sharing our common love for yoga, excited to read as she voiced her own yoga journey.

What was happening internally and behind the scenes in my own world at that very moment of that event in 2015 was a little bit of finding my voice when it turns out my personal agency and decision to travel to visit my sister for the upcoming Memorial Day weekend was being strongly discouraged…to the point that my abuser wouldn’t grant his blessing but threatened that I shouldn’t go. (That I would be choosing cursing instead of blessing by failing to listen to spiritual authority, blah, blah, blah. Bah humbug.)

To visit my sister. When she was pregnant. For the first time. My only sister, 8 hours away. On my long weekend holiday.

The whole thing was ridiculous and caused much unneeded emotional tension and turmoil and I was determined to go, had the means to go, and no reason not to go…so I went.

This also coincided with the beginning of the end of my abuser’s tight grip on my life. Gratefully, I lost a great deal of trust in him at this point. I was absolutely perplexed & bewildered why in the world he was making a big deal about this. As you know, I recently recorded my story, raising my voice, this literally taking back my voice and telling my story in my own words, with my own voice. Since this post isn’t about me, I won’t link to that today. You can find it on my site if you dig around. 😉

Raise Your Voice Launch Team

Upon hearing about Kathy’s new book, I jumped at the chance to be part of the launch team and help amplify this incredible book. It’s so delightfully practical, spiritual, and encouraging. Filled with enough anecdotes that give honest, real-life examples. Weaving in narratives from the Bible from her perspective. I loved the way the author described  Esther’s cross-cultural, dual identity, having two names; Esther and Hadassah, along with a time to step up and raise her voice – for such a time as this – to hear it told from Kathy’s perspective was vivid and powerful. As an MK/TCK (third culture kid) growing up outside my passport country, though very much still privileged, not economically, but because of my skin, I could identify with that in my own way as well.

This is a book I want to hand to several people in my life, in hopes that it might help them see past the binary issues of our day, and see more nuance, but also how our silence can speak loudly, and especially the need for diverse voices, and to stop the silencing story about a false kind of unity and niceties.

Kathy articulates this point wonderfully; with the verse from 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 and verse 26 about the beauty in the diversity of our gifts and how we are one body of many parts. This doesn’t detract from a holistic desire for unity, but unity isn’t about sameness, or homogenizing. Repeat after me, sameness isn’t unity. Sameness isn’t the goal. Sameness isn’t the gospel. This very point from Paul was counter-cultural, that each individual person had a part to play in their community, in their church, in Roman society, affirmed and loved uniquely by their Creator.

I was reminded of the familiar verse about every tribe, every tongue, every nation. How dare we as Christians think that is the vision of heaven and simultaneously refuse to actively live that out in our world, in our neighborhoods, and in our cities right now. Instead, despite our great intentions many are promoting or at the very least permitting racism and white supremacy, because of one or a few singular complex issues, stubbornly refusing to budge from, but are unwilling to hear and listen to the voices crying out demanding to be heard, for their own safety, for their own survival. By the way, reverse racism is not a thing, you guys. Not a thing.

What about the prayer ‘on earth as it is in heaven’ on EARTH, right now. Like Kathy says at the beginning of her book, we have a responsibility, to steward, our domain.

In Raise Your Voice, Kathy says the following:

“I believe that Christians desire and can handle more complexity. Race and reconciliation can no longer be framed solely as a justice issue but rather as core to the gospel, theologically grounded in the Imago Dei (the image of God). As Christians, if we truly believe we are all created in God’s image, and that God the Creator had a hand in developing, creating, and shaping not just our embodied souls but also the places and spaces we steward and have dominion over, then reconciliation with one another is not merely an option – it’s part of God’s mandate. It requires us to speak up and speak out.”


“When more of us from different intersections and margins raise our voices, we live a fuller picture of the good news.


“Words are powerful and can be used to free people from captivity or to sentence people into captivity. God created humans to communicate WITH one another, not so we would use words and actions to hurt and destroy one another but to be a blessing to one another. God used words to assure Moses of his identity as one beloved and known by the Creator, and then asks Moses to go out and speak up on behalf of the Israelites.” “Likewise, we are seen by God and called out of our imposter syndrome wilderness to proclaim freedom and good news to the world. God asks you to raise your voice.”


“Our unity in Christ does not erase diversity. Our unity in Christ affirms and even demands diversity for the flourishing and stewarding of this world. Our diverse voices allow God’s truth to be told in many ways.”

  • “We are all children of God, and diversity is part of that unity – not conformity or assimilation.”
  • “Knowing who you are also helps you recognize everyone else’s humanity.”

Speaking up doesn’t increase division. It brings injustice and sin to the forefront. Speaking up can be an avenue of truth and healing, which can be painful for you and your friends.”

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I’ll let the author’s quotes and excerpts continue to speak for themselves. This is where the practical, tangible, personal work comes in:


“Be informed and learn from people who are different than you.”

Here are some practical, tangible steps and actions that you can begin today, the following excerpt is a paragraph that I re-formatted into a list for you:

  1. “Walk away from the screen.
  2. Commit to reading books by authors of color, particularly theologians and Christian leaders of color (like this one).
  3. Commit to reading books by authors who have a different viewpoint on issues than you do or come from a different racial, ethnic, or socioeconomic experience than you do.
  4. Think about the podcasts and subjects you are most interested in and then add a few from the ‘least interested’ pile.
  5. If you are a man, listen to women preach.
  6. If you are a woman, listen to women preach.
  7. And don’t limit your consumption to Western voices. There is an entire world out there.
  8. Take a hard look at your circle of friends and be honest about the diversity reflected in your relationships. And then take your questions, along with what you are learning, back to the spaces you can influence and use your voice.”

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The injustice we do not understand:

“We often stay silent and do nothing by convincing ourselves the offense isn’t actually that offensive. Sometimes we don’t speak up because the injustice doesn’t affect our daily lives. We don’t understand the impact of a law or the injustice inflicted on others because it doesn’t impact the people closest to us or it isn’t a matter of our heart or heart language.

Queen Esther may have been able to avoid getting involved if it wasn’t for the actions of her uncle Mordecai.”


“Being a Jesus-follower, trusting in God’s sovereignty, and believing in our hearts that God is in control doesn’t absolve us from taking action or speaking out against injustice. In fact, it should be a reminder for us to take the risk and speak up in our churches and communities.”


“How can we pray ‘Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven’ without recognizing this is an invitation to raise our voices?”


“The reason I most often choose to stay silent is the one I don’t want to admit. If I benefit from the status quo, I have a vested interest in maintaining it. Silence is complicity. Speaking out is often labeled as rocking the boat or causing trouble, but silence is just as dangerous.”


“Speaking out against injustice isn’t about my personal feelings and opinions being prioritized over someone else’s feelings and opinions – instead, it’s about recognizing that our individual feelings and opinions about a situation are secondary in importance to the overall impact on our community and society.”


“However, I don’t consider it divisive to point out the problems as a way to work toward finding solutions. We can trust in God and still question what is happening around us. We can live out our beliefs even if the ultimate outcome isn’t changed for the better.

Mordecai understood that trusting in God doesn’t excuse us from speaking up when given an opportunity to name injustice and fight for justice….And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?

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Thank you Kathy, for this incredibly powerful, practical book. For in raising your voice, you encourage us (me) to raise our (my) own voice(s), listen to the voices of others, and recognize how much we need each other. I needed this book, in my journey of reclaiming my voice, in my healing and freedom from spiritual abuse, in my own anti-racism internal work and education, and in learning how to amplify the voices of others, in doing so, even if I’m clumsily flailing about or imperfectly speaking out.

The book is out today! To order your copy from Amazon or directly from the publisher: InterVarsity Press

Please follow and support Kathy Khang’s work. You can find Kathy online:
Twitter: @mskathykhang
Instagram: @mskathykhang

Feminine Wholeness Includes Sexuality | My Favorite Resources

Back in August I posted this on Instagram,
bw sexy selfie

So I’ve been thinking about some recent conversations I’ve had and wondering if any of you beauties would be interested in reading some of my favorite resources for breaking free from repressed sexuality and harmful purify culture? Embracing the skin you’re in and shedding shame? That last one was a huge game changer for me. I’ve got books, my favorite teachers and mentors and amazing online havens. It will probably take a week or so to put together so let me know if you want to see it! 💘💌🍇🌺🐯👑

And it was met enthusiastically. So I am excited to finally share the following resources: books, links, Instagram accounts, teachers and guides that have been helpful on my journey, and continued journey of Feminine Wholeness and Embodied Faith.

Why?

Do you really need to ask why this is important? casual selfie SHE

The short answer is really simple. We are embodied spiritual beings and humans. I am a soul and I have a body, to borrow words from C.S. Lewis.  I am also a woman. As a woman and a person of faith, it is important to me to understand what it means to live in this skin, this flesh, this body, which just so happens to be female. I was never satisfied to live a life that was purely “spiritual.” After all, we’re not just spirit beings.  And we aren’t meant to be either. I grew up in purity culture, that icky sub-culture; cloaked in shame and unconscious body shame, under the guise of “modesty.” Guess what, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, modesty is just another word for shame. Not in its intent, or even original meaning, but in its impact. And impact must be looked at.

I am tired of being in groups with young women who feel compelled to confess their shame because they falsely believe they are committing sin. I was one of those young women. Until I read Ruby Slippers, Eve’s Revenge and Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers blog, and any thread or question of shame was completely erased when I began reading and following the Feminine Wholeness work of Morgan Day Cecil. (All of these lovely people and resources are listed below.)

legs

It’s actually possible to carry shame even if you’ve never crossed any physical boundaries. Surprised?

My jaw dropped as I began reading the blog of Dr. Tina Sellers and her research on purity culture and the negative impacts it has left behind. One fact astounded me most of all. One of her blog articles talked about the impact and symptoms of repressed sexuality in a marriage were similar to those of sexual abuse. Two extremes. One more traumatic, while the other was not healthy. It’s both completely mind-boggling and revealing. I believe it points to the fact that we are sexual beings and repressing that fact does no one any favors.

This is a Good Body

Here’s a bit more of my own words from a few years ago during a really important challenge on instagram.

August 4th, 2015
I snagged a pic from over a year ago when I had just begun yoga. I chose this picture because of the caption. “I wouldn’t be caught dead posting a pic of my middle but this pose somehow elongated it, so I was okay with it” When I look at this photo now, I love it, it’s beautiful, it’s Wild Thing, it’s strength + freedom.

thisisagoodbody

I have only just begun uncovering the lies + shame that I carry in my body – the weight of being a woman.  My healing journey began 2 years ago when I read an incredibly healing book called Eve’s Revenge: Women & a Spirituality of the Body by Lilian Calles Barger. She walks through the ways that religion + the church have taken poor directions both for women and the human body. Instead of a wholistic perspective, as it was created to be, it became separate. The human body became divorced from spirituality + has created an avalanche of hurts and problems. We were not created to be separate.

I always felt that I was a pretty confident, positive self-esteemed, kind-a gal. But the negative voices came from too close to home & lodged themselves like cheap shots – well intentioned but absolutely harmful. My dad thought it was funny to tell me to “get some abs”. It struck a chord as I already wished my stomach was smaller & flatter than it was. I have gone face to face with the lie of “not good enough” my entire life & this just amplified that.

What I’ve discovered over the past 2 years is just how much shame I’ve carried in my body.  The shame of Not-Good-Enough. Somewhere along the road I actually believed I was larger or “fatter” than I really was, when I looked in the mirror, my perception was barely tolerable, eh, it was okay.  I uncovered these lies & areas of shame at the same time that I began practicing yoga & seeing myself for who I really was in that moment. I saw my body grow stronger, & suddenly, for the first time I believed that I was beautiful, not just acceptable or pretty enough, or a pretty face or nice legs, but all of me, the whole me was beautiful. I began experiencing God’s love FOR me, all of me.

I am learning to love this good body he gave me. This is a good body.

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Important distinctions and verbiage:

“Our Western Christian tradition often has given the impression, and at times explicitly taught, that this tension is primarily between the soul and the body. • The result has been a denigration of the human body and a distrust of our deepest physical energies. The biblical term ‘the flesh’, which refers to the sinful tendency in us to disregard our inmost self, incorrectly has been equated with ‘the body’.

‘The flesh’ and ‘the body’ in the New Testament are *different concepts.* The consequences of the confusion has been disastrous.

We have ended up obscuring the truth that our bodies are made in the image of God. When St. Paul teaches that we are to live ‘according to the spiritRATHER than ‘according to the flesh‘, he is NOT suggesting that 👉 we should NOT live according to the body.

(an importance distinction❗️)

It is precisely IN our bodies that we are to live according to the spirit, rather than allowing ourselves, including our bodies, to be dictated to by what is opposed to our inmost being.

The invitation is to be liberated, to be reconciled to what is deepest in us instead of being held in bondage to what is false in us.”

excerpt from Echo of the Soul: The Sacredness of the Human Body by J. Philip Newell

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Books

Listing them here in order that I went through them. Oh, and I’ve mentioned some of these before (they’re that good, and they’ve been that helpful so I may borrow a few of my previous words, again.) This is really just a starting place, not comprehensive by any means, and not including books I read years ago that I don’t necessarily agree with, anymore, or ever. (I’m looking at you, Captivating. *eye roll) There are some good titles out there…and some awful titles too. If you’re looking for help navigating who to trust…pay attention to the author’s worldview and theological bent. Believe me, everyone has an agenda. And I’m no longer willing to entertain the bent that says women need to submit to men. Jesus never asks that of me, so I won’t.

Eve’s Revenge: Women & A Spirituality of the Body
by Lilian Calles Barger

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To read my description of this important book go here:

Ruby Slippers by Jonalyn Fincher

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Heart Made Whole

by Christa Black Gifford

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Other more spiritual / faith / theological / books about / for and from women that are solid and not ill-fitting: Any and everything by Carolyn Custis James, Sarah Bessey, Kathy Escobar, Danielle Shroyer. You won’t find any corsets here.

Additional Books I recommend but haven’t actually read in full or am still in the middle of, but based on their previous work, blog posts etc, I am eager to read and are on my list. 

Echo of the Soul: The Sacredness of the Human Body by J. Philip Newell
Sex, God, & the Conservative Church by Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers
Be sure to also check out her blog and facebook page:

erase sexual shame

Blogs:

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Morgan Day Cecil: Feminine Wholeness: 

Basically, everything you need is here–there. So please go follow her, check out her site, sign up for her emails, read her blog posts and take a yoga class on her youtube channel. You won’t regret it. She also has an excellent organized book list by topic. So check it out! 🙂

Instagram Accounts:

  1. Morgan Day Cecil: Feminine Wholeness
    @morgandaycecil
  2. Romance & Adventure:  The Cecils
    @romanceandadventure
  3. This Is A Good Body Stories Archive
    #thisisagoodbody
  4. Dr. Tina is now on Instagram too!
    @drtinashamelesssex
  5. Christa Black Gifford
    @christablackgifford

Final thoughts. 

The best advice I’ve been given by my amazing Feminine Wholeness Coach is (in my own words)

  • No more shame.
  • It’s a good idea not to use sex as an escape. But don’t be afraid of pleasure. 😉

Be free, dear sisters, whether you’re single and unattached or otherwise entangled. Be free of your shame. Here’s a parting poem to encourage and embolden you:

walt whitman - dismis whatever insults your own soul

If you’d like to work with me please check out my brand new course – Your Flesh is a Poem Full details are linked below:

Do you wish there was a space to think out loud, ask questions
process creatively, & embrace all of who you are without judgment?
To reimagine what it looks like to reclaim your body,
voice, life, & your power, on your own terms?

Your Flesh is A Poem is an Online Course:
A Guided & Creative Journey & Integrated Spirituality
of the Body Designed to:

+ CONNECT with the FEMININE HEART of GOD 

+ HEAL the RIFT BETWEEN YOUR BODY, HEART, & SPIRIT 

+ UNRAVEL CENTURIES OF CONDITIONING

+ RECLAIM YOUR LIFE, YOUR VOICE,
YOUR BODY,  & YOUR POWER, ALL DIVINELY GIVEN

These five sessions are the fruit of my own healing work, my own journey towards wholeness, and reclaiming my voice, my life, my body, and my power. All God-given. All in partnering with the divine. I tore down the tired walls, broke free of the corset that wasn’t designed for me, and embraced the spacious contemplative faith, the deep song that I’ve always sung. I want to share these tools, practices, and activities with you to help you experience wholeness and reclaim your own life, and walk alongside you and hold space for your own process.

your flesh what's included flat lay may3

 

Healing the Purpose of Your Life

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This book has been one of my lifelines over the past year. With the prompts within, I came up with three words that are unique to me, and to my way of being, the myriad of ways that I express my special way of being. These three words aren’t what you might think, and I won’t be sharing those three words, but they do express themselves through yoga, nannying, music, and art. And the title is pretty straightforward, but that has been part of my journey. And this small but mighty book is very healing. If you’re at a crossroads or struggling with this idea, or concept or need to revisit and rediscover, I highly recommend this. And it’s not about over- spiritualizing your purpose, but really practical and deeply spiritual.

This journey is important to me because there are voices out there that will tell you that your gifts, your talents and your unique way of being, even your personality are a “problem.” Nope, it’s not your problem, it’s their problem and they can get out of your face. Our unique gifts and talents and interests and our unique way of expressing our being ARE what make you, uniquely YOU. And these things are guides, markers, indicators to help point you in the direction you were uniquely designed for. What lights you up? What makes you come alive? Those are such important questions. The things that matter to us, matter for a reason. That doesn’t mean we’ll know right away, there are still things that matter to me that don’t have a neat niche that I’m invested in, but I still care and maybe someday it will be a bigger part of my time. I get so frustrated when the message of self-denial is beat on your heads over and over. You can’t do any of that until you know who you really are. Celebrate the unique way you express your beings and your doings express your being.

*and yes this book is on my short list of all time favorites!

“Our sealed orders are built into us so deeply that difficult circumstances and mistakes in our life cannot ultimately keep us from carrying out our purpose. This is true because our purpose is our essence, our particular way the light of God shines within us, a light that can never really be put out.”

– from Healing the Purpose of Your Life by the Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Matthew Linn